Fear Tomorrow (The Fear Chronicles Book 4) Page 5

  The knock sounded again, more urgent this time. “You can’t stay in there forever,” Mama said.

  “Just a few more minutes,” I said.

  She laughed. “You’ve been in there for sixty-four days.”

  Sixty-four days? That was two whole months. I shrugged off the warmth of my cocoon and walked to the door. Even in the dark, I knew where to reach for the handle.

  I opened the door and Mama walked into the room wearing the same yellow dress as before. Her skin glowed—her whole body instead of just her palms—giving off a halo of blue light.

  She glanced around the room. “You’ve been in darkness this whole time?”

  “Was I really here for two months?”

  “You could be here for years and only minutes would pass in the outside world. I decided to give you time to think.” She held a hand near my face. The blue light reflected on the glass frames that hung around Travis’s couch.

  “You look like an angel,” I said. “Well, maybe a cross between an angel and a smurf. How did you make your skin glow?”

  “Making the light is easy. Existing in the darkness is not.” Her eyes widened. “You haven’t tried to make light?”

  I shook my head. “I decided to keep the room dark. It helps me think.”

  “How did you stay here without falling apart? The fear would have suffocated me.”

  I shrugged. “The darkness doesn’t scare me anymore.”

  She looked toward the door. “How did you find the handle without light?”

  “I just knew where it was.”

  “That’s not possible.” Mama gripped my shoulders. “I’ve never been able to stay in the darkness this long without making light. How did you conquer your fear?”

  “I realized Travis is with me, even in the darkness.” I put a hand over my heart. “He’ll always be with me.”

  “You’re stubborn, more than I ever was.”

  “I want to see Erin.”

  Her light grew soft as she watched me. “Erin?”

  “You remember my friend Erin. She’s the doctor who helped with the DNA test that proved Dad’s really my father and not Louis. Didn’t you help her escape the base when we left for Virginia?”

  “I didn’t want you to travel alone; it’s not safe.”

  “Yeah,” I said with sarcasm, “at least I didn’t die on the road. Does she know I’m dead?”

  “Even if she did, she won’t understand what happened to you. Your friend can’t help you now.”

  “I told her about your power and how you helped her leave the base.”

  “Most people don’t want to understand or believe what I can do. What did she say?”

  “She was more worried about the moral implications of you stealing the body of a coma patient than the fact you were in her head.”

  With a chuckle, Mama looked past me. “You’ve got to do this alone. Just you and me.”

  “Why can’t she help? She knows the truth about you and she can probably guess I’d come back as some kind of ghost like you did. She knows we have the same power.”

  “Knowing about your power isn’t the same as believing.”

  “It’s not like she’d freak out. Erin is great at problem solving. On our trip to Virginia we made a great team. Sylvia said Erin’s one of the smartest doctors she’s ever met. A genius.”

  “There’s something you need to know.”

  I frowned. “Did Sylvia change her mind about making Erin an agent?”

  “Erin was the one who changed her mind. She left the base an hour ago.”

  “Left? Where did she go?”

  “Erin went to the airport with Agent Lockhart. He’s flying with her to Chicago, where he’ll wipe her memory so she can return to her old life.”

  If she went to the airport, Erin didn’t travel far since part of the base sat under one of the runways. “She can’t.”

  “Her future isn’t your choice.”

  I held out my hands and flooded the room with light.

  Mama grinned wider than I thought possible. “You’re truly amazing. It took me more than a year to control the light. A year out there, not in here.”

  “If Erin wants to leave the agency, I get it. She can go back to Chicago but not today.”

  * * * * *

  For what seemed like weeks, Mama tried to convince me that finding Erin was pointless. I refused to believe I’d never see my friend again. Finally, Mama appeared in an outfit other than the yellow dress.

  She stood in front of me with her arms crossed. Her black jeans and top looked like something I would wear. Glancing down, I realized I had the same clothes on from the day I died, which now seemed like years ago.

  “How did you change your clothes?” I asked.

  “Your mind is in control here.”

  “What about your mind? Since I’m dead, it’s not like you’re in my head.”

  “For now, we share this place. After you created the light, I began to wonder if your power might be stronger than mine, twofold maybe.”

  “Is that good or bad?”

  “For the future of this planet, it’s good. For you, I’m not sure.”

  “Tell me about this place and don’t use terms like the other side.”

  “You know I’ve always enjoyed gardening.”

  “I remember.” Before she’d died, Mama planted roses all over the grounds of the RV park where we lived. I missed her most when those flowers were blooming. “I was never good with plants like you.”

  She shrugged. “To me, the world is one gigantic garden. Like the flowers, people bloom and eventually die. Then the leaves fall away and go back to the ground.”

  “I’m not following you.”

  “The ground is the holding plot for all life to begin again. We’re below the surface. Unlike most other life that waits, we have control over the bridge between life and death.”

  “I’ve never thought much about what happens after we die. Leave it to you to think of a giant garden.”

  “I can’t think of a better metaphor for life than the beauty in how a seed breaks apart to sprout a plant. Life is as simple as a bud reaching for the sun, yet at the same time bears a complex root system.”

  I glanced around. “Are you saying we’re underground?”

  “You’re wherever your mind thinks you are. In this case, Travis’s bedroom.”

  The teasing in her voice didn’t make me feel better. “But you’re here too.”

  “I imagined myself with you and here I am.”

  “What is this place made of?”

  “It’s nothing and everything. You can manipulate our surroundings to create anything you can imagine. If you’d like to change clothes, think of yourself in a different outfit.” Mama waved for me to stand. “Go ahead and try.”

  I stood and held out my hands while thinking of the pair of jeans I wore the day I left home back in Florida. No clothes at the agency had fit like those jeans. “Nothing is happening.”

  “You’re still thinking of yourself as a living breathing person. If you can’t bring the clothes to you, you must go to the clothes.”

  Go to the clothes. I imagined myself back in my room and the world around me changed. A light flooded my vision and then faded until I stood in my room back at the base. The sheets and blankets lay in a bundle on the floor where Travis and I had rushed to get up for the meeting. I’d thrown on the same clothes from the day before.

  Was this my real room or all in my head? I walked to my closet and sorted through the clothes until I found my jeans. As memories of leaving Florida with Travis flashed in my head, I remembered pulling my life’s savings from between the pages of a book. The book was gone like my entire life.

  Sadness filled me. What was the purpose of my eighteen years? I hadn’t made a difference for anyone.

  At my feet the book appeared. I knelt and lifted the book, which felt real in my hands.

  “This can’t be it,” I whispered. “I can’t be dead.”


  Mama appeared next to me. “Regret won’t help you. Trust me, I feel enough for us both.” Her words matched the sadness I felt. As she spoke, her form seemed to dim.

  I dropped the book and stood. “Do you really think this planet will die without our help?”

  She stopped fading. “I do. That’s why you need to stop wasting time. It will take every bit of the next twenty-four hours to learn your newfound power.”

  I closed my eyes and thought of Travis, picturing him in my mind. When I opened my eyes, I remained standing in my room next to Mama. “Do you know where Travis is?”

  “He’s not handling this well.”

  Travis had been there. He’d watched my body disintegrate. The sadness grew until I felt as if I might scream, but I kept myself together. “By ‘this’ you mean my death. Can you take me to him?”

  “You can only go to him when you’re ready. If you’ve tried and failed, there’s nothing I can do.”

  Why wouldn’t I be ready to see Travis? The truth hit like a slap in the face. Deep down, I didn’t want to see him in pain. “Is he going to be okay?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Maybe I don’t want him to see me like this.”

  “He can’t see you. You’ve got to enter his head while he’s asleep for him to see you. I can tell you he’s not sleeping.”

  Travis was probably somewhere plotting to kill Van. Until his powers returned, I hoped he wouldn’t get hurt. Travis was a good agent, I told myself. But I couldn’t help fearing Sylvia would lock him up again. I glanced down at my palms and no sparkles appeared. Maybe I’d found a way to control my fear here. Even if Sylvia locked him up again, I’d find a way to get Travis out.

  I’d be his guardian angel.

  “How do we get to the airport?” I asked. “I might not want to see Travis, but I definitely want to see Erin.”

  Mama smiled as I changed into the jeans the old-fashioned way. Maybe she thought this was too much effort, but I wanted to hold onto the idea of being alive as long as possible. “Picture yourself there. I’m guessing we travel in a similar fashion to the way Travis teleports, though our powers work in different ways.”

  I thought about how Travis would take my arm or my hand. Somehow, he was able to take me with him whenever he teleported. Now the traveling would be up to me.

  Light surrounded me, a blinding light that faded as I appeared in a room of people. Ready to celebrate this small victory, I stepped backward and fell. My butt landed on a rolling bag that moved with a conveyor belt beneath. Pain shot through my hand as I tried to steady myself.

  People gathered around the luggage carousel and reached for various bags, but no one looked straight at me. Sounds of voices hit me from all directions, along with beeps and ringing cell phones. The smell of food caught me by surprise. Someone gripped a greasy bag that made my stomach rumble.

  Mama appeared next to me, sitting on another bag. “Great first try. If you didn’t realize, we’re back in the world of the living.”

  Someone looked at me and I glanced around in a panic.

  “Don’t worry,” she said. “No one can see you.”

  “If I’m a ghost, why did I fall over this bag? And why does my butt hurt?”

  She leaped from the conveyor onto the floor. “Haven’t you been listening? It’s all in your head.”

  “Is that why I smell food? My stomach is actually rumbling.”

  “You’re imaging yourself alive; your body doesn’t need food.”

  “How do we find Erin with all of these people? This place is bigger than the underground base.”

  “What was your last thought before we left your room?”

  “I thought of Erin being at the airport. I imagined coming here and finding her.”

  “That was your mistake.” Mama held out a hand and helped me to my feet.

  I stood next to her as a man in a business suit pushed through the crowd, walking straight for me. Mama pulled me out of the way, but his arm passed through my stomach. A bolt of electricity shot through me. He hesitated for a second and looked around before resuming his path. “That felt weird.”

  “You’ll get used to the tingling, but I advise you to stay away from anyone living. They might not see you, but subconsciously I think they feel you there. You’ve heard people use the phrase ‘it feels like someone’s walking over my grave.’ I think that’s what the man must have felt.”

  “I’m creeped out and I’m the one who’s dead.”

  “We need to move faster. Don’t forget time is normal here. Every moment that passes is a moment wasted.”

  “Finding Erin is not a waste.” I headed for the security gates. “Do you know if she’s boarded the plane already?”

  Mama sighed and grabbed my arm, forcing me to stop.

  “Ouch,” I said. “That hurts for real.”

  “Thinking of where she is won’t help. You’ve got to picture her face and make yourself appear where she is.”

  “Sounds like how Travis’s power works. He sees a picture of a location and thinks of himself there.”

  She nodded. “Give it a shot.”

  When I closed my eyes, she squeezed my arm. “What?” I asked.

  “Imagine her face at least three feet away. You don’t want to appear in her lap. That might give you nightmares and unsettle her.”

  Like I cared about unsettling anyone right now. I wasn’t sure if the thought of appearing that close to anyone bothered me more than the prospect of having nightmares. Since I wasn’t actually asleep, could I have nightmares in the airport?

  I thought of Erin’s face from a distance. When I opened my eyes, I stood between two rows of seats. A man sat to my right and a woman to my left. Behind me, a flight attendant helped someone secure a bag in an overhead bin. A voice came over the speaker above. The flight was almost finished boarding.

  Where was Erin? I scanned the seats in front of me until I noticed the top of a head with black hair. Could that be Erin? I dodged a couple walking down the aisle, proud of myself for not touching them until a woman reached out with a cup of coffee in her hand. The coffee spilled as she jumped back.

  “It’s freezing on this plane,” she told the woman next to her. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this flight. Maybe I should—”

  “You’re not causing trouble today,” the other woman said.

  I walked past them and approached where Erin sat next to a window. The seat beside her was empty.

  “You can have the aisle if you’d like,” said a voice behind me.

  I spun in time to meet Agent Lockhart face-to-face. He walked through me, causing my body to buzz like an electric fence I once touched.

  Agent Lockhart froze and glanced around.

  “What is it?” Erin asked.

  He put both hands on his chest. “I’m not sure. I felt like… Rosanna? Are you here?”

  Erin looked my way but didn’t seem to notice me standing in the aisle. “Rena’s mom? Why would she be here?”

  He sat down. “Just ignore me. I’m talking crazy.”

  “You can’t see me, can you?” I stared at Erin. “I was hoping Mama was wrong and you’d see me.”

  Erin closed the magazine in her lap and turned to Agent Lockhart. “Aren’t you going to ask me if I’m sure about leaving?”

  “You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t,” Agent Lockhart said.

  “How’s it going?”

  I spun to see Mama standing behind me. “She can’t see me.”

  “And you thought maybe you’d break the rules because…”

  “You said I could talk to Erin in her sleep.”

  Mama glanced to where Erin bit her bottom lip. “I could open one of the bins and drop a bag on her head. That might knock her out.” When I shook my head, she said, “Guess you’ve got to wait.”

  “What if the plane takes off?” I asked.

  “You’re still thinking about this as if you were alive.”

  “Well, excuse me. I
guess I’ve got to get used to the idea of being dead.”

  She smiled. “There’s plenty of time for that, just not today.”

  A feeling of regret washed over me.

  Her smile faded. “Now isn’t the time, Regina.”

  “I’ll never get to touch him again.”

  “Don’t forget I was able to come back and touch you again. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”

  “You always used to say that. I can’t believe we’re standing here now. Both dead, both on a plane illegally.”

  “You’ll find legality matters little when you’re dead.”

  “What about ethics?” I asked. “Van killed me.”

  “While we’re speaking of ethics, there’s something you should know.”

  I looked at her. “You knew Van was going to shoot me. We already covered that.”

  “So did your father.”

  If my heart had been beating, it would have stopped. “Either one of you could have kept Van from pulling that trigger.” I stepped toward her. “You and Dad both betrayed me?”

  “Better to get the emotions out of the way.”

  “Because they hold me back?” I asked with sarcasm.

  “You have business to take care of.” She disappeared and I called her name over the noisy cabin. “If you’re trying to prove a point, I can think of a hundred better ways.”

  “I’m glad you’re sure about this,” Agent Lockhart said. “Even though I don’t agree, at least you know your own heart.”

  I turned back in time to see Erin lean against the window. “I feel wiped out.”

  “Have you slept any in the last two days?” he asked.

  “No.”

  “Your body is shutting down. That’s a normal response.”

  “You’re telling me and I’m a doctor.” She laughed, but the sound was short lived. “I should have gone to see Rena last night. She’s going to hate me when she finds out I left without saying goodbye.”

  “I don’t think Rena will hate you.”

  “Maybe we could talk…”

  “Some things are best left unsaid.”

  I wondered if he knew about me dying. I waved a hand in front of his face, but he didn’t look up.

  Erin cleared her throat. “I guess after we reach Chicago, it won’t matter anymore. What happens after we land?”